You know the lady at Wal-mart? The one with the screaming child having a major tantrum in the line for everyone to see. The lady that looks completely flustered, frosted, frazzled and fried? I became that lady yesterday. Prior to having children had I seen a situation like mine in the line at Wal-mart I would have thought, "why doesn't she do something? Take the child outside, spank his butt, do something." Oh how wrong I was.
What happened was Small fry decided she didn't want to be in the cart. I usually have her stand in the basket (yes I know the cart has a little picture on the side that says not to do that but it doesn't have instructions for where to put the carseat, a little monkey, an oversized diaper bag and all of the groceries in the tiny little cart but I digress) but once she decides she doesn't want to stand there any more and that she wants down that is just it. She either tries to climb out of the cart or wants to be held and then put down and screams and cries in the mean time. I let her walk last time we were in the store and she did okay so this time I took my little harness and thought that would be great, she could wear that and walk and I would push the cart. NO WAY!!! She wouldn't have that. And if I took the harness off she darted away. I thought I lost her once. So I cut the shopping short and took the cart and the few things I had in it with small fry over my shoulder to the check out. And got in line. SERIOUSLY WALMART IT IS CHRISTMAS DON'T YOU THINK MORE THAN 4 CASHIERS WOULD BE NECESSARY AT ALL TIMES???!!!!! So i stood in line and held her kicking and screaming. When I put her down she would try and dart. I tried distracting as the books tell me to do and that wouldn't work. And the line just got longer and everyone stood and stared at me with my child probably thinking that I was the worst mother for not being able to control her, or that she was the most rotten child or that I needed to leave and come back later (yep, after the hour long drive to get there) or that I should spank her butt (which I don't want to resort to) and I felt as helpless as I could possibly be. No one offered to help, offered to let me ahead of them in line. The cashier took 10 minutes to help the same lady 4 people ahead of me and finally I had to pull my cart with small fry over my shoulder still out of line and head for the door. That is when I remembered I had diapers to exchange (will post about that next) and I had to go to customer service. So I drag my sorry situation there and stand in line again with everyone staring. When it is my turn the lady again working at a snails pace seems to see no reason to offer any kind of assistance. She had to open the box of diapers and did so with a pen one poke hole at a time. I finally reached over grabbed the top of the box, ripped it open and said, "can we move this along, I have got to get out of this stupid store," grabbed my diapers and pulled my cart to the door. Then I managed to get the diaper bag out, the carseat off, hold onto my screaming child and the package of diapers and head out the door. I put small fry in her seat, got in my car, burst into tears and drove home. Honestly at that moment motherhood was the farthest thing away from being fun, rewarding, fulfilling or anything else. I felt like a failure, it felt embarassing and frustrating. I couldn't even talk for an hour or so after getting home I was so frazzled. Right now, I honestly don't want to try and go shopping alone again for at least 6 years. What in the world happened to my small fry?
I had to smile as I was reading this because I have SOOOO been there many times over the past 2 years. My daughter is 3 and my son is almost 2. My daughter is an angel most of the time, but get her in public and everything changes! But that is their job, to push the limits and our buttons and see how far they can get. Small Fry is just growing up! Good luck with future shopping trips, I now save mine for Saturday mornings when my husand is home so I can go by myself!!
ReplyDeleteAny parent who is in the least bit honest will tell you this has happened at least 10 times per child since becoming a parent.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard the saying that the best parents out there are the one's who don't have kids? They're the people who look at you, judge you, and decide just what you SHOULD be doing instead of what you ARE doing. Why? Because they haven't had kids, and have never been faced with a screaming kid in a store.
It happens. It gets better. My recommendation for next time? Leave and go for a drive in the area. See if she's ready for a nap. If that doesn't work, try stopping for a bite to eat, then once she's calm again, try the store once more.
It's stressful to any parent to be stuck in a store with their child screaming, or running off. It's easier to just leave and try to control 1 situation at the time, in this instance, the toddler. ;)
Good luck next time!
I'll admit, before I had kids, I was probably one of THOSE people. Now that I have 3, I can so sympathize with you. It's horrible to feel like you have no control and you really need the things you went to the store for.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain! The airplane can be bad too sometimes. Good luck...I think we all need some every now and again!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I have been there before. And because of that, I have found that the best time to go to Walmart is at 6:00am Saturday Mornings. The shelves are stocked, there is probably a total of 20 people in the whole store, and the kids are asleep at home with Jake.
ReplyDeleteOH my gosh! This is me, too! I have been telling my family about how I have become "a Wal-mart mom"! My sad story is very similar... my son fell out of the cart, a bag of mixed nuts broke open at the checkstand, we walked all the way to the garden exit (we park near that exit because it is closer), and it was locked one minute before we got there (at the point where it was TIME for us to go). And other things... shopping with three kids is a huge challenge!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about what all of those people looking at you are thinking. They don't matter. It's so easy to be judgmental of other people's situations, and it's easy to forget what it feels like to be the one being judged! My almost 3 year old has a speech delay so his communication skills are a little lacking sometimes, and every trip we take outside of the house ends up like the one you described. I feel your pain. What I always say to my husband is this: Don't worry about what you can not control. If somebody has a problem with your kid's tantrum they should go to another checkout or another store!
ReplyDeletecould small fry and my daughter be sisters from another mother? my pedi says that it is normal for toddlers to push the limits. it's a milestone! one i would like to skip. her behave may have had something to do with the fact she was tired or hungry so i do agree with the comment someone posted. you are not alone...like i said, my daughter has done that quite a few times and sometimes you would think that she is a daycare raised child (meaning no home training)!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say, I LOVE your blog--it is so REAL! And I love the crafts.
ReplyDeleteHang in there...it gets easier/better! I feel your pain, too, since I have also been in this situation. I have twins and I remember when they would do this at the same time. They are older, but now my toddler can push more than the two of them ever did. I am a big believer in grabbing candy, yep, CANDY, off the nearest shelf and letting them eat freely while I get through the line or the shopping! Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to get our stuff done! Besides, after they crash from the sugar high, they tend to take a long nap that day to sleep it all off!
You'll make it, you'll make it (keep telling yourself this over and over)!
Tammy
Bless your heart!!! I've been there so many times. I finally learned to get the favorite bag of chips as we are getting ready to go to check-out. Yep, I'm that mom that opens chips, give my kids grapes and busts open the capri-sun before I buy it. It has saved me from this situation more times than I would like to admit. Keep your chin up. I think our children know when it's the perfect time to have a meltdown. I think it's even worse at a restaurant because you can't just get up and leave, you have to get your ticket. Ugh!!! I also love your blog and know based on what I have read you are a superior Mama!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Heather, I feel so bad. I have been there so many times with Zach and I don't have a little one to tend to as well. I finally just have to strap him into the little seat belt thing and just let him scream his way through the store.
ReplyDeleteToddlers balance out all the sweet quiet newborn moments. It's not fair. And it's nice to hear that other mothers cry in their car too. :D
ReplyDelete